What pornos would have us believe...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10
seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating
by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist
he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when
men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly,
middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when
giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men
do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women
off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't
fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual
practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly
on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!"
when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they
"high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women
smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and
his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven
shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot. 20. When taking
a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle
slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you
getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off
before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches...
or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's
cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans
butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly
surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob,
a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's
head and the other proudly on his hip. |