Beer Versus Pussy
It is time to do a comparison between
two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you
satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you
Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun
of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie
If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy
Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it
is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come
home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely
get mad.
Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better
not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and
you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy
Buy too much beer and you will get
fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will
get poor.
Advantage: Tie
It is socially acceptable to have
a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy
in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy
If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy
With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a
beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
Pussy can make you see God. Beer
can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy
If you think all day about the next
pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your
next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is
more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag
a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual
harassment.
Advantage: Tie
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog
you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.
The best pussy you have ever had
is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.
The worst pussy you have ever had
is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno,
Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie
Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.
The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy. |